Sunday, December 31, 2006
I have a question, not only for Douglas County, but for the entire state of Oregon. Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me, I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as they see fit. In order for me to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test, which I have no problem with.
What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check, because I have to pass one to go earn it for them?
Please understand, I have nothing against helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit on their butt. Could you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?
The News Review
Catching Big-Air in Ft. Walton Beach Florida with my bro Gerard Harris.
I am heading to Japan to rip some waves and eat fresh Sushi! I am looking for the Japanese surfers which made fun of my friend on his Surf-o-Tech!
Keep in touch,
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
When asked his last thoughts, Saddam said "SOD 'UM WHO"S SANE!."
You heard it first here!
The execution order has been delivered!
NO ONE'S DEATH or DEMISE SHOULD BE CELEBRATED!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Alright there may have been some artistic liberty applied to a photo I found on http://www.flickr.com, but I saw it... http://flickr.com/photos/crunchytoast/336314129/
Note: They should have been driving tandem.
I am recovering from Christmas in the Metawai Islands (Indo).
I am undressing for popularity! Look what it has done for Brittney Spears. My ratings should sky rocket.
Note: Just turning up the heat!
Unless the real meaning of Christmas is returned...I am outta here!
PS: Don't click here as this is not me posing!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
We miss John and wish he and his family all the best in their future endeavors... (February 4th, 2007)
Samurai (on Gibson) is the absolute Best in Teppan Grill and Sushi!
Now that Christmas is over, I am craving Sushi bad... I decided to share a secret with you. Samurai is awesome!
John Choi "WAS" the manager (Super Cool)
Bol is the best Teppan Grill Chef in the world (Ask f0r him)
Sang and Day are the world's best Sushi Chefs
Nathan is the worlds best server
Tomorrow and many days to come I will be eating sushi!
5701 Gibson SE
Albuquerque, NM 87108
Monday, December 25, 2006
You are lucky I am human and I have physical needs.
Mrs. Claus made my bed on the couch unless I delivered the goods as planned.
Note: YOU ARE WELCOME!
Recommendation: Forgive others and be charitable or I will be forced to open up a can of whoop buns on you!
Remember: Thats my wave baby! Don't cut me off...
Sunday, December 24, 2006
No! I have not changed my mind you stubborn, nasty, naughty boys and girls! You have missed the real reason for the season. Go ahead and pretend like I am joking, as I grind the top of this half-pipe, like you will grind your teeth tomorrow morning with an empty room missing your Christmas presents. Ha Ha Ha and a Ho Ho Ho! Know that I am enjoying all the wonderful gift ideas myself.
Note: I will be using my Slew of flying Reindeer to tow me into Mavericks tomorrow morning!
Having too much fun!
Note: This guy was so into his air jam he forgot he was driving. The windows were up as it was 31 degrees outside so I didn't catch the tune.
Somedays you wish you were a fly on the wall to observe interesting human behaviour.
Recommendation: Unplug the air guitar and drive.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Whooo Hoooo! A major snow storm slams Colorado!
I grabbed little Johnny's requested K2 FatBoy and headed in the opposite direction of most travellers.
Question: Why the heck did I rip off my sleeves and cut the legs off my shorts?
Oh well, I wish you naughty boys and girls could experience the thrill of the fresh powder and steep hill, but without your gifts this year you better get a J.O.B!
Ho Ho Ho and HA HA HA,
Love Airborne Santa
Friday, December 22, 2006
Enjoying my vacation here in Costa Rica... Thanks again for being especially naughty! Cancelling Christmas is absolutely awesome, I should have done it years ago. However, let it be known that the past was no better than the present.
By-the-way, I had to cut my sleeves off as "It's Getting Hot in Here," is blasting on my new IPOD! Thanks for asking for this as I had no idea how cool it was. check out the IPOD H2O Audio, but pay for it yourself bad dudes and dudettes. Ho Ho Ho!
Back to business,
Thursday, December 21, 2006
The vigilante watches customers and their shopping cart habits. If a customer doesn't return their cart, the masked crusader dashes to the rescue by physically lifting the shopping cart high up into the air and placing it directly on top of the offending customers car. Yelling, the super hero says..."Which exerts more inertia? Walking twenty steps to return your cart or lifting a heavy cart off the top of your car? The super hero turns with his cape flapping in the wind and disappears into the masses of the parking lot.
When asked, "Why are you doing this?" The masked super hero exclaimed, "It is not transfat which makes America heavy, it is pure laziness and a lack of concern for your fellow human being." As he disappeared, I heard him singing, "I'm making a list, i'm checking it twice, i'm going to find out if your naughty or nice... Ha Ha Ha Ha, the Shopping Cart Vigilante is coming to town."
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Unfortunately, I lost a good chum today while surfing Morro Bay, California.
The victim was an elf named Rubik. Rubik was viciously attacked and killed by a giant grey today. Fortunately, no one really requested his Rubrik's Cube this year.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Note: Santa's white legs haven't seen the sun for hundreds of years. Lets hope he used sun block or his spring suit will look like a full suit sooner than later.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
My first walk on event (with special invite: I am Santa), in epic wave conditions, resulted in my first prestigious win.
Note: Fear the old, fat dude in his red wetsuit! Santa is delivering the goods in a new way now...
Too much fun!
Monday, December 11, 2006
Not everything Green is a Vegetable! This lady had a bumper sticker on her car that read MEAT is MURDER.
Note: As I passed this ladies vehicle, I observed her pick her nose and eat it... The booger was large enough to see the color and the texture!
Question: Is a booger a meat or vegetable? Neither! Girl! Go to the store and get some meat! Absolutely Disgusting! How many calories are in a booger anyway?
I am leaving the North Pole, never to return! Please google, Transworld Surf, Surfer, or Surfing magazine and send all further correspondance to their editors addressed "In Care of Surfing Santa!"
You might see me shreding your local break!
By-the-way, NO! I am not Jack O'neill... but, I am open to O'neill Wetsuits creating a surfing santa "North Pole" winter suit!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
All the toys you requested this year, which the Elfs promptly prepared for you, will be sold on E-Bay to pay for my World Surfing Tour! Bid away you bad boys and girls! May the highest bidder win...
PS. I hope that this continues for at least "SL8R" years!
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
Note: Although this one is a little off thread, it made me laugh.
Hint: Esso and/or Chevron should replace the old Tiger with the new. Put Tiger Woods in the tank and Drive Perfection!
Saturday, December 02, 2006
What Were You Doing When You Should Have Been Driving? Challenge: Try to Beat, a flying, scratching, biting cat off of you while driving is very dangerous.
The Song playing on the Radio is by Ted Nugent, "Cat Scratch Fever."
This one had me laughing all the way to work. The loose cat went ballistic in the car for some unknown reason. It freaked out! The driver pulled over to the side of the road and quickly exited the car until the cat chilled.
Note: Use a pet carrier case to avoid cat scratch fever and driving!
Friday, December 01, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
What Were You Doing When You Should Have Been Driving (#38)? Flicking Boogies and Driving
Personal Request Observed by Kim Ross of Los Lunas, New Mexico.
Have You Observed Something?
Note: At least he didn't eat it!
Recommendation: Try to pick and grin when you are away from traffic!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Note: So I am driving in San Antonio, Texas with my parents and grandparents when this other vehicle's frontseat passenger moons another vehicle in the far right lane. Inconveniently, we were stuck in the middle. My eyes popped out, my parents and their parent's chins all hit their chests.
Please Remember: At this moment in time, all eyes were focused on one buttocks, not the traffic or the road! "The buttocks (often called arse, backside, badonkadonk, booty, bum, buns, butt, fanny, humps, peaches, monkey wrench, rear end or sweet cheeks) are rounded portions of the anatomy located on the posterior of the pelvic region (Wikipedia).
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Personal Request Observed by Mike Farley of California.
Note: personally, I don't think this is a good motor vehicle sport - attempt Joggling instead. My Bro-in-law, Trent Webb, enjoys this sport... Keep your eye out for the Titanium Acrobat!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Personal Request Observed by Steven Streiff of Phoenix Arizona.
Now this one is "scary!"We already know that multi-tasking and driving is a safety hazard, but mind altering drugs and driving is beyond the twilight zone.
Recommendation: The observer should immediately take the long way home! The partaker should stay at home!
Society: The question is: What is the reason "Why" people feel they need to escape? The answer is?
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Personal request by JÃ¸rgen Schyberg of
Check out JÃ¸rgen's photos on www.flickr.com!
How many times have I seen this on the road?
IPOD and/or MP3 song rating takes one hand, but
both eyes. To date, I have not observed anyone
that can place one eye on the IPOD and one eye
on the road. Have you observed this activity?
Note: Accidents occurr in a twinkle of an eye.
Focusing in on The English Beat, Mirror in the
bathroom to rate them five stars takes many
twinkles of the eyes.
Recommendation: Rate songs at home and enjoy the tunes as you drive...
Monday, November 13, 2006
Whoever taught this sweet little girl this nasty habit needs to be publically beaten. If in fact, no one is to blame for teaching this naive little girl this disgusting trait, then her parents should be flogged in the town center on voting day.
Note: The next time you fly, you may want to tuck an air sickness bag into your laptop case, just-in-case this family drives through your home town!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
So I am driving along at a comfortable speed, enjoying the day, when a brand new (huge) van passes me. The driver (who I recognize, but he does not) is giving me the Air Paddle as a symbol to go faster. I look down at my speedometer and I am cruising along at 50 in a 45. I am passed by this rude individual doing about 60 mph.
Who accompanied the driver on this wonderful day? The drivers severly disabled son, and the child care children (my friend's daughter and others) they watch and care for while parents work.
Interestingly enough, here is this beautiful van purchased with the communities tax dollars (by-the-way a great cause) and the son-of-a-gun driver shoots me an air paddle of thanks. HMMMM!
Note: You may be more famous than you know. It was confirmed on this day, I made the right decision not to have my child cared for by this family...
Saturday, November 11, 2006
The Millenials have arrived so get ready to observe a generation that "Rocks On" to get the job done! This generation might indeed be the over protected generation, but they will prove to be the over achiever generation, if you prepare the way!
Note: Driving is not a game! Unless you want to break on through to the other side before your time, drive the real thing on the road and the other off the road.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
My son and I took a surf trip to Rhode Island, Mass, Conneticut, New Jersey, and New York in 2004. We hired a car with GPS installed. As we drove slowly in thick East-Coast traffic, my son helped navigate through the GPS delivered shortcuts. Lets just say, we took the back woods way (local only roads) everywhere we decided to go. In most cases we eliminated the traffic and had fun doing so. However, we missed a major East Coast swell, but we experienced some keen driving and had some serious fun.
Note: GPS works well with a navigator. Driving and manipulating a GPS system is asking for danger.