Someday your Prince really will come: You Stupid American (Final Part 4)

The next day, it was business as usual, until I came across one of the Jordanian air force crew. This Jordanian guy actually came up to me and says, “You are a very stupid American.” My first instinct is to roll-up my sleeves and come to blows with this Arab guy. In my culture, an individual using strong negative words is looking for a fight. Although livid about the “stupid American,” comment, I held my outburst. How dare he insult me with words, he doesn’t even know me.

I calmed down pretty quick and began to question in my mind why this guy said what he had. The best way to find out is to ask the source, so I did. I asked what the individual meant by his comment. I was informed that I had saved the crew from the embarrassment of social stripping (removal of status) and possibly even death.

Believe it or not, the crew was somehow indebted to me for helping them and had gifts prepared to bestow upon me. The member of the air crew mentioned gold. He also mentioned royal palace visits to Jordan. I was to receive a hero’s welcome for telling the truth and having the crew let off the hook. The Jordanian then went on to explain my three major faux pas (3 Strikes). The insults were enough to make the good null and void. In his words, “I get nothing.”

Correction! I hit a home run. I received one of the best life lessons ever. I received a lesson worth far more than silver or gold. I received a life changing event that led me into intercultural communication and the study of people.

Three cultural strikes and I was “Out-of-there…”

We can’t play the game unless we know the rules. My recommendation to all, is to do your homework, research, and explore other cultures before you interact, unless you like to strike-out. Find out what is expected before you have an intercultural faux pas like mine.

We interpret the world through our personal experiences – beware of U.S. centric view points. Be open to new experiences. If I had not asked the hard question I would be none the wiser.

In conclusion, the Arab people are very hospitable and courteous. Although some of the Arab social conventions are rather elaborate, they will generally “not” be offended by social mistakes stemming from ignorance. However, saying this, my Jordanian Prince experience caused me to self-reflect, seek out knowledge and study other cultures with a passion.

Ignorance is not bliss!

Someday your Prince really will come: I Didn’t Know the Jordanian’s Played Baseball (Part 3)

As I approached the plane after work, I was thinking to myself, “What am I doing?” I had no idea of how to respond or react with the Arab culture. I had no life experience interacting with a Middle-Eastern culture other than what I had learned in school or seen on television (not a good representation at all), or movies like Indiana Jones, Aladdin or Sinbad movies. Let’s just say, my knowledge pool was very slim.

Can you imagine what a Jordanian C-130 Hercules looks like? It is an American cargo plane. Well, the inside was decked out to the hilt and the greatest mental image for those who have not seen it is the Taj Mahal. Although the Taj Mahal is Indian, it will give you an excellent mental image of the inside of the plane. Nothing was spared in the tour of the C-130, experiential learning at its finest. Prince Hussein was sitting under the wing upon Persian Carpets; the surroundings were royally decorated with silk pillows, brass fixtures, crystal and other exceptional pieces. The military C-130 was a little home away from home. I approached the carpet, removed my shoes and greeted the Prince. After the greeting exchange, I was asked to sit, so I did. I sat as we were trained in Kindergarten with my legs crossed and soles facing up (criss-cross applesauce). Someone yell STRIKE-ONE! After a few minutes of idle chit-chat, I was offered some fruit dates. I politely refused the dates. In my mind, I was thinking about the Indiana Jones movie with the poison dates. I was too young to die. Did someone yell, STRIKE-TWO? Final pitch came in the form of hot tea, which I refused in a final swing: STRIKE-THREE! The Prince politely excused me. I walked slowly back to the bus thinking, thank God that is over, or was it? I would have been given a Strike-four for being anxious to leave. I was very impolite, out of ignorance and fear.

Here is an Instant Recap of my Cultural Faux Pas!

STRIKE-ONE:

The sole of the foot is considered unclean because it touches the ground. It is considered impolite to point the sole of the foot at an Arab when sitting together. This does not mean that when sitting people cannot cross their legs, but the legs should be with soles facing the floor. American men sit with their legs crossed and the ankle of one leg resting on the knee of the other, this is perceived as being uncultured because of the sole issue. The custom is more applicable when sitting on cushions or mats at a traditional Arabic feast. Then, if seated with legs extended, the soles of the feet could point at another guest and cause insult. Generally, Arabs kneel or sit cross-legged at traditional dinners.

STRIKE-TWO:

It is assumed that guests will accept at least a small quantity of drink offered as an expression of friendship. It is considered rude to decline the drink altogether.

Note: Never use your left hand! When you accept, only do so with the right hand. The left hand is unclean and inappropriate.

STRIKE-THREE:

It is considered very rude to decline a host’s hospitality!

(To be continued in part 4)

Quotable: Samuel Johnson

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain
characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

- Samuel Johnson

Why do we Romance the Stone, but not the Candidate?

It is our job as recruiting professionals to romance the candidate. We need to ensure the candidate is receiving the message we intend to send. As in every relationship, communication is the key to success. When communication fails, so will the relationship.

The Three Top Ingredients in a Successful Candidate Relationship:

1). Communication: We have to talk and ask questions about each other. We need to better understand who each of us really are. Send emails, leave voicemails and keep the interactions warm. Communication is verbal and nonverbal, be sure your words match your body language. Send any information you can without compromising your business confidential information.

2). In order to build relationships you need to invest time in both personal and professional interactions. Contact is essential and necessary, contact in person is better than contact electronically (virtual).

3). Relationships need time. Do not rush the candidate. Time is critical, but time to decide is an important step to allow ample determination of a good fit. Remember, we are not putting posteriors in a chair we are putting key personnel in strategic positions. Think of it like trying on a nice pair shoes. Get the right fit the first time.

Now ask yourself: How can I Uniquely Romance the Candidate?

• Invite the candidate and their direct family for a site visit and city tour if living out of town. Allow single candidates to bring a friend. Singles like company too. If the company will pay for a family of four or five, why not allow a single candidate the companionship of a friend. Stories are full of intangible value and word of mouth is the best marketing strategy. A good friend to share a new experience will enhance the trip.

• Pick up the candidate and family/guest at the airport. This is especially important if the candidate is international. Often times we don’t think about the individual and the stress of being somewhere new. Many people from around the world only have a Hollywood interpretation of the United States. Check out the hotel to ensure it is up to par and then stock their fridge with a few free snacks and drinks. Go the extra mile and it will make a huge difference.

• Take the candidate and guest/s to dinner. Select a restaurant that is appropriate for conversation and yet fun. Be sure to ask the candidate is there are any diet restrictions (religious, cultural, and food allergies) and the easiest way is to accomplish this, is to ask the candidate what type of food they prefer.

• Make the visit memorable and fun. Show off your company, town and entertainment available. Fun is always good.

• Give the candidate the + and – of the area. Never sugar-coat the negative. Let the candidate know the pros and cons of the area up front.

• Send a cool thank you to the candidate. A few examples include food! Huge cookies with a message, fruit with cool recruiting gadgets, meal voucher in their home town when they get back and so much more.

Oh the things we can do if we only make the effort. Intangible benefits are worth calculating. The proof is in the pudding: Whatever that means to your candidate.

Someday your Prince really will come: Too Close for Comfort (Part 2)

The Prince was walking toward me, so I exited the bus. Have you ever experienced an invasion of your privacy or private (personal) space? In the U.S., we like to speak at arms distance, unless we invite someone into our more intimate space. The Prince came toward me and stopped when we were toe-to-toe. I was totally out of my comfort zone. Firstly, I had no idea how to even address a Prince. Secondly, the Prince was inside my personal space and I was very cognizant of the fact. As we stood toe-to-toe the Prince looked me over. After some silence, silence wasn’t golden in this instance. The Prince finally asked me, “What took place?” “What Happened?” “How long did it take?” To make me even more self conscious, the Prince’s nose was extremely close to my mouth, as if smelling my breath. All I could think about was “What did I have for lunch,” and “Is my breath offensive.” I was feeling a little intimidated and afraid to speak, let alone breathe on the Prince, but somehow I managed to explain the situation.

After explaining, the Prince stood there for what seemed an eternity. My breath and my stare were totally exposed. After what seemed like an eternity, the Prince finally extended an invitation to come back to the plane and sit with him, when I got off work. I accepted the invitation, thinking to myself, “Oh crap, what do I do now?”

(To be continued in part 3)

Someday your Prince really will come: Will you be ready? (Part 1)

In 1992, I was working public relations for the International Air Tattoo at RAF Fairford England when a Jordanian Prince came into my life. Royalty from all over the world attended the air show. I volunteered to drive a bus around the airfield picking up pilots and aircrew and driving them back and forth across the airfield to eat at the aircrew dining facility. One of His Majesty King Hussein of Jordan’s sons, Prince Hussein, stopped me to ask where his flight crew could get some food. The Prince required his aircrew to return within 45 minutes. With an air show taking place, timing is essential.

Crossing an active runway during an air show isn’t the easiest task to complete. After a long journey across the active runway and many planes taking off and landing, I finally got the aircrew to the dining facility so they could eat. They departed the bus. Thinking nothing of it, I was thanked by the Jordanian crew and I drove away to my next adventure.

Later that day, I see a distraught Jordanian pilot running toward my bus waving his hands and yelling for me to stop. I immediately noticed the pilot had a torn flight suit with no patches. As I slowed the bus, the Jordanian slapped both hands up on the front of my bus in an effort to ensure I stopped, as if that would stop a bus. When I opened the doors I heard an Arabic accent requesting I speak with the Prince. “Please tell the Prince the story, please tell him what happened,” the pilot exclaimed. Peering down at his flight suit I could only imagine the pain this man and the other individuals must be experiencing, so I agreed. I knew how long it took to get across the air field and could only imagine how late they must have been.

(To be continued in part 2)

Quotable: Thoreau

Do not hire an individual who does your work for money, but an individual who does it for the love of it.

- Henry David Thoreau