The Native Scottish Haggis is Going Extinct; Does Anyone Care?

My dear friends from Scotland, living and working in Swindon, England at the time, invited me over for a traditional Scottish meal, in celebration of Robbie Burns Day (January, 25^th). The sweet couple broke out the Scotch (neat, not watered down with even a cube of ice), and joyfully read poems by Burns, as the Scotch burned down my throat to my stomach. My friends decided to serve me my first Haggis. If you are unfamiliar with Haggis, I was too but, please read on.

In order to deliver such a succulent dish, my friends took a day trip to Ben Nevis in Scotland, home of the Haggis. Ben Nevis is the only place in the world that the strange Haggis lives and roams. You see, the Haggis is a hairy animal, the size of a large rabbit, with a slight imperfection. The Haggis has two short legs on one side of its body and two long legs on the other. This slight imperfection forces the Haggis to run in only one direction up or down Ben Nevis. Haggis, tend to have the smaller set of legs close to the mountain and the longer legs for stability. Most non-native’s, tend to chase the Haggis to no avail as they are like rabbits – very fast. My friends however would set-up a net on a large stretch of the mountain from top to bottom, covering approximately 25 feet. They would then run after the Haggis, chasing them in one direction until they were caught in the net. Haggis can not change direction; they rely on their speed to out run their predators. Fortunately, my friends caught a rather large one and brought it back for our dinner.

My gracious host decided to leave the legs on the haggis to prove to me the length of the legs on each side. Normally the legs are removed prior to cooking. However, when the platter arrived I was very amazed. I had never seen such a strange critter. As the ambiance, the poetry, the laughter, and the meal, was absolutely succulent, I ate more than my fair share.

I asked if I could accompany my friends on their next hunting trip. I was informed that the Haggis is in danger of extinction and the Scottish Government was only giving special permits to locals from Scotland. As unfortunate as this appears, I understood.

Some ask why the Haggis can’t reproduce like rabbits with all the similarities. The challenge for the Haggis is lining them selves up on the same track as another Haggis. Often times the Haggis will be within inches of each other as the run circles around the Glen. Inches away for the Haggis, is like miles to others. They run faster and faster around the Glen to try to align themselves with no solution. Many people have spotted the Haggis running side by side around the Glen for hours. Some haggisitarians will find exhausted Haggis lying still in one path and realign them on a new path. Although, the odds of a Haggis meeting another haggis; it is difficult in these days of extinction.

The Native Scottish Haggis is Going Extinct; Does Anyone Care? What is Haggis? You obviously need another round of Glen Levit. We have reason for adding another day, to celebrate in a special way, the memory of a furry Scot; Who may be gone, but not forgot.

Innovative Expressions Need to be Shared

Why are employee ideas overlooked without a forum to capture them? How do we promote thinking outside the box or bun, and how do we implement informed, educated risk taking? Why do organizations reinvent the wheel when they can benchmark off each other’s innovative ideas? Quit sitting on the box with your bun. Have you ever noticed that the same great ideas tend to be created in multiple departments? How much waste is there when teams don’t communicate and share what they are doing? Partner, we are all on the same team. How do we capture these ideas, implement them, retain them, and recognize our employees for thinking outside the box?

Just because you are doing something correct today, doesn't mean it will be correct tomorrow. Do you remember the Titanic? The unsinkable ship didn’t live up to its name. Challenging paradigms and the status quo should be embraced and recognized by all. “Don’t worry about failure. Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try” (The Wall Street Journal, 1986)

“Motivation is not something you give to people. They give it to themselves. You give them the reason to motivate themselves” (Anonymous). Using technology in existence today, we have an excellent opportunity to communicate and capitalize on an employee's innovativeness. The question then becomes, where do I put all the ideas? I recommend a Web page link from a company homepage, call it what you will, call it "Innovative Expressions." Let the page become a treasure chest of ideas waiting to be discovered. It will provide a forum to communicate and capture ideas. Every group is able to benchmark off another group's ideas. This opens up an avenue for successful knowledge sharing, not knowledge hoarding. Anonymity is necessary for those that do not want to bring light upon themselves.

At 3M, the company created an area to display ideas (inventions) for employees to place items that may or may not have developed into the inventor’s dream. 3M adopted a business philosophy of "there are no bad ideas." They recognize the timing and/or the know-how, may be off on implementation for some ideas. The idea may be too early for successful adoption into the organization or it may not meet current business needs. The idea may not meet business needs today, but it may be implemented as the missing ingredient in another need tomorrow. “Success is not a destination, it is a journey” (Anonymous).

Here is a novel idea; Create interactive, dynamic, intelligent, computer based programs to reduce the need for sustaining information. Even better, embrace a program already developed by another company - providing it meets the need of your business at much less the cost of development. For a business, time is money, anyway you slice it! Again, why reinvent the wheel? Initiate order from chaotic, unplanned website development. Enhance the employee's ability to access information at their fingertips and house similar information in one place, bucket it, if you will. If you as a developer can get information somewhere else (i.e., another department’s website), link to it, rather than creating your own content. Remember, it is not what you think an individual wants to see, it is what they are actually searching for that counts. Use website analytic data to delete content that no one searches on. Today, employees access information anytime, night or day. Work force performance is at risk if you do not continually develop new and improved ways. Don’t get stuck in a rut when it comes to innovation and progress.

Hard Copy Resumes Need Not Apply

I heard a presenter (didn’t catch the name) on KAGM 106.3 FM talk radio in Albuquerque telling people to fax, email, mail and strategically drop off their resumes everywhere. The radio presenter actually said, “The squeaky wheel eventually gets the grease.” Although this analogy is generally correct, I am in direct contradiction of this statement when it comes to applying for a career job. Traditional Hiring Practices have drastically changed. Companies no longer fax over a job posting and pin it to a board for all employees to see.

Today’s Mom and Pop shops or otherwise called, small employers without online database technology for e-Recruit may still accept hard copy (paper) resumes. However, companies with more than 100 employees will most likely have an online application system. Smaller companies really should consider an investment in some e-Recruit software.

Highly technical companies with open positions do not want hard copy resumes, including ones sent via email. Show me how you use technology by placing your resume in my database. Who and what company in the world has time to put your resume in the system for you? Pay somebody if you can’t do it yourself. My perception of an applicant unable (unless by ability issues) to place their resume into our system and fill out our online application is, “Why would I hire you?” How bad do you want the job? Spend the time online.

Another argument in the hiring world is, “Some people don’t have access to a computer.” I read an article in the April 2006, Harvard Business Review on Page 18 concerning internet users. One-sixth of the world’s population or 1 billion people were logged online and internet users, as of 2005. Can you fathom that number? These are the employees companies are fighting for. There is no excuse to not have computer skills in today’s U.S. emerging workforce. Free computer use in libraries and Department of Labor offices. Free e-Mail accounts on Google Mail.

A 2005 Emerging Workforce Study conducted by Harris Interactive (the old Harris Poll) asked 502 senior human resources executives across the U.S. the following: By which methods do you feel you find your best candidates? Their responses: Referrals 58%; Internet/job boards 34%; Classified advertising 33%; Internal recruiters 29%; Professional associations 14%; Staffing/recruiting agency 14%; Temp-to-hire engagement 9%. [Multiple selections were possible].

Almost 60% of the surveyed managers hire by referrals! So if you can’t send hard copies, how do you get referred? Be creative! I suggest you network with professionals in your field. Most companies have a general phone line. Call the general number and ask for the field you are looking to get hired into, try to get a name. Use the website to find an email address of someone in the field. Ask for an informal meeting – meet for coffee, it works. Meet with a professional in the field, but, don’t bring a resume, it isn’t going to be pushed down their throats. Try to build a relationship first. If you impress the individual and keep in touch, your network may pan out with a job. Be creative…

I'm sorry, I don't speak Russian, but I do speak, NO!

I'm sorry, I don't speak Russian (Izvinite, ia ne govoriu po-russki) but, I do speak “NO!” In 2004, I was privileged enough to travel to Russia to train Russian Hiring Managers at Intel, on a new PeopleSoft upgrade (8.8) to e-Recruit. Study a culture and their ways, in order to know how to do business before you go. Cultural faux pas make great stories after the fact, but, cultural know how builds excellent working relationships now.

What did I know about Russia? I read and enjoyed books by Fyodor Dostoevsky (the Idiot, & Crime and Punishment), and AleksandrI Solzhenitsyn (The Gulag Archipelago). “The state system itself suffered from its own lack of trust and from its rigidity. These interrogators were selected personnel, but they weren’t trusted either” (Solzhenitsyn). How true? I now know, the flight was horrifically long and the airports were as I envisioned them during the cold war. The interrogators at the entry checkpoints were the same people Solzhenitsyn wrote about above. I guess they have a job for life.

Fortunately, Intel Corporation had a license with GlobeSmart, and with Charis Corp, to assist international companies and travelers with intercultural training. Charis offers a fantastic eight-hour classroom training called “Working with Russia,” and other country specific trainings. The instructors are usually immigrants to the U.S. from the country being trained. As an additional resource, Intel also has Globesmart, a tool offering a fantastic 24 hour online support, 7 days per week, accessible from any computer with internet training capability support. GlobeSmart allows companies to capture and share global experience within a company profile. I printed all the material on Russia, to read, as I crossed the ocean. Thankfully, someone at Intel took the time to write-up some Russian Scams they experienced. These noted experiences prepared me for the challenges ahead.

Have you heard of the “Russian Turkey Drop?” Well, I must look like a turkey. I am in Moscow, in Red Square, I am totally soaking in the cultural experience-I am alone. Although, I am very observant as I am a people watcher. I notice these two guys following me. They had picked me out of the crowd like a turkey in a turkey hunt. I was carrying an expensive Sony camera, wearing a brown suede jacket and black Ray Ban glasses. I changed the direction I was walking by turning to the right, they followed. It was going to get interesting. One of the Russians went wide and the other stayed right behind me. As one of the individuals passed around me, he drops a zip lock bag with a bundle of U.S. dollars in it. The bag appeared to have ten thousand dollars, rolled-up and wrapped with a rubber band. Ethically, my first instinct was to reach for the bag, as I yelled at the gentleman, “Hey! You dropped your money.” I immediately pulled my arm back without touching the bag. I had just read about this scam. The guy behind me picks up the bag of money and shoves it down the front of his pants. With a strong Russian accent he says, “This is a lot of money, shhhhh, I will split it with you.” My immediate response was to throw out my hands and exclaim, “NO!” (I highly recommend screaming NO). I continued to walk. After a few moments the other Russian came back looking for his money. “Have you seen any money? I lost a large deposit of money on the way to the bank,” he said, with his Russian accent, placing his hand firmly on my chest to stop me. I pointed directly at the guy behind me and said in a loud voice, “He has it!”

The other Russian pulls out his wallet and opens it to show that he doesn’t have any money, so I do the same (this is a mistake). As I naturally mirror the guy’s partner in crime, I opened my wallet. To their great disappointment, I only had 30 Rouble (Rbl). $1.00 = 27.8540 Rbl. I had one company credit card and a whole lot of receipts. Leave your valuables in the hotel safe.

This mirroring action of pulling out my wallet is how they gage how much money you have. As they must have been thinking I was looking fairly poor, what could they steal? I had no money. My camera strap was tightly wrapped around my left hand and my right hand clenched – ready for anything. I was ready to rumble. The two Russians were defeated. Their illusions of grandeur and free vodka were squashed like a bug. However, if the scammers had seen, lets say, approximately three hundred dollars in my wallet, they would count their recovered money and claim they were short three hundred dollars. Most tourists will give their money to the scam artist, to avoid trouble and get out of hot water. The conflict is over. The scammers split the cash and look for their next victim.

Don’t just say “Niet,” scream “Niet,” (Don’t just say “No,” scream “No.”).

Cognitive Dissonance in Malaysia: Why won’t you shake my hand?

While training a course I developed called “Working with the World,” in Malaysia, I was explaining the importance of handshakes and the United State’s perception of such. As young as I can possibly remember, my father taught me the importance of a firm handshake. My Grandfathers also drilled and reinforced the handshake routine to my siblings and I. Counter to this popular U.S. belief, in Asia and other countries, the handshake is less firm than the majority demographic in the United States. Handshakes definitely send a message. Although, the most important part in communication is not the message sent, it is the message that is received.

Cognitive Dissonance is a condition first proposed by the psychologist Leon Festinger, in 1956. I really enjoy using these two words, so I thought, “How can I tie these cool words into a cultural story I have experienced?” Surprise, surprise, another world faux pas emerged. My mind is in a constant strain of cognitive dissonance.

We have associations with a number of handshakes. Firstly, we have the bone crusher handshake. This handshake sends a message that I am dominant and I will over power you. In actuality, people associate the bone crusher with less intelligence and social grace. Sometimes this handshake requires the griped individual receiving the crushing to say, “Uncle,” in order to get released. A more accepted, classic handshake is a firm shake. A warm, firm grip is the most often used handshake in the U.S. This handshake is a sincere greeting, deal sealing and a goodbye gesture. The firm and warm handshake is a full hand squeeze. This shake is perceived as being genuine. However, if your hand is cold and clammy (sweaty) it will send the opposite meaning. Hint: Warm hands under hot faucet if this is a natural tendency of yours, as this will help to overcome this unfortunate bias. Lastly, there is the limp noodle shake (common in many cultures around the world). This handshake sends a nonverbal message or association with a weakness, not perceived in a good light, unless it is received by the opposite gender. Many cultural faux pas have been delivered around the world with handshakes.

Touching can be taboo (major faux pas), as I personally found out in Malaysia. This contradicting cognition served as a wake-up call that compelled my mind to modify my existing beliefs, to minimize the amount of my personal dissonance (conflict) in my thoughts.
As I began to share handshakes with the class in Malaysia, one-by-one, I could see that most of the students were excited to experience inclusion of the shakes; however, one very nice lady refused to put her hand out and shake mine. Respectfully, I moved on to the next student. As I did, the Chinese manager, asked, “Do you know why she didn’t shake your hand?” I responded with “No.” The manager encouraged the lady to inform me. Her response was, “I am a married woman, I am a Muslim and it is forbidden for me to touch another man. If I touch another man, it is the same as having committed adultery.”

At the time, I had absolutely no idea why she wouldn’t shake my hand. Some people in the U.S. refuse to shake someone’s hand when they want to insult. Honestly, I was experiencing a little insult from the non shake, but, I am also open to new experiences, so my dissonance did not show.

I am totally fascinated and in awe of this tiny morsel of cultural knowledge that stumped the instructor (me). I love to teach diversity classes, as I am always learning from my adult students. I acknowledge, I don’t know and won’t ever know, all there is to know. Cultural awareness and know-how can not be learned in a 4 hour corporate class or a six week semester, it is a life long journey. Thus, my intercultural journey of 40 years has only just begun.

Recommended Reading:

Morrison, Terri; Conaway, Wayne; and Bordon, George. (1994). Kiss, Bow, or Shake hands: How to do Business in 60 Countries. Holbrook, MA: Bob Adams Publishing

Through Avoidance of Cultural Faux Pas, I live with the Curse of the Phoenix Claw

When traveling, it is often times best not to ask what something is before trying it, especially if consuming it. I like to believe I am adventurous, so I will try most items placed before me. I follow the don’t ask, don’t tell policy, when it comes to food. Don’t ask the question you don’t really want an answer for. In China, it is customary to allow the host to select the meals. Take my advice, don’t ask, just enjoy. Although, with this said, on more than one occasion, my Intel counterparts from China, Taiwan, Singapore, and Malaysia took cultural advantage of me. In other words, they enjoyed setting me up, in fun.

We all left the Intel site and headed to a Chinese restaurant in downtown Shanghai. I had heard great things about the authentic informal dining and the quality of the food. When we arrived, the decorum was less than I envisioned, but the table was built for sharing with a turning center piece, or rather a huge lazy Susan in the middle. This turn table is great for large parties getting together and serving the food. The host would spin the table to allow each guest time to add portions to their plate. The variety and the smells were succulent to the senses.

It was apparent that all eyes were on me when it came to a particular dish coming to a stop in front of my plate. We were using the back-end of the chop sticks to serve ourselves. Food warning: Don’t make the mistake of using the end you put in your mouth or you will be looked on as a heathen dog or labeled a “Double-Dipper.” Double-Dipper defined as, an individual that takes a bite off of a piece of food (vegetables, chips, bread, etc., and then dips again, and again). All eyes continued on me as I lifted what looked like limp textured noodles onto my plate. “Please try,” exclaimed the host. I started to feel like I was on the Fear Factor television show. Not knowing what the food item was, helped. I tried to cut the noodles with my chop sticks to no avail. Eventually, I picked the cluster of what appeared to be four tough noodles up with my chop sticks and I bit off an inch or so piece. Chewing the food, I then wondered why the bite was so gristly. I continued chewing the food, my host and peers placed their right hands over their mouths and began to chuckle. After swallowing the bite, I politely asked, “What is so funny.” Smiling, I received no answer. I asked a second time, “What is it?” The host said, “Phoenix Claw.”

My mind quickly raced into myth and legend. Phoenix is a fire bird; claw is what they rest on or feet. The Chinese love chicken. The 1.3 billion Chinese and most of Asia eat food cooked in its whole form. For example, if you order duck or crab, expect to get the whole duck bill (not the tab), with flippers included and the crab in entirety. Let’s get real, 1.3 billion people need to eat, nothing goes to waste. I thought for a moment and then exclaimed, “Chicken Feet?” Exchanging a little laughter with the group, my mind conjured up visions of the chicken prating around like the chicken dance, on their feces, in their pens. My stomach didn’t like that at all.

What is the curse of the Phoenix Claw? The visions never go away! Every action has a reaction. Through avoidance of cultural faux pas, I will live with the Phoenix Claw experience, forever…

I Screamed, "Eyes Left"

A personal example of disagreeing and committing is from the United States Air Force. I was stationed at RAF Fairford in the United Kingdom from 1985 to 1994. Early 1985, we were being instructed in aircraft load planning and participating in a simulated training for loading a C-5 aircraft for deployment. During this instruction we were being directed to load a C-5 aircraft. This aircraft was invisible much like Wonder Woman’s plane. We began the staging of air ground equipment weighing thousands of pounds (not invisible) and we prepared the cargo for loading.

The team began to push heavy equipment to the rear of the simulated plane, when we were loudly interrupted by our leader. To protect the leader we will call him “Nap.” His direction on this memorable day was inconceivable. Unfortunately, we were being directed to load a C-5 aircraft through the side of the airplane, in case you are unfamiliar with a C-5, it can only be loaded through the tail or nose opening. As an Airmen, one of my nicknames was “little General,” as I would openly and vocally disagree. So I stopped the simulation and questioned my superior as to the simulated process, pointing out the chalked plane has no cargo openings on the sides and that we should proceed to load from the rear. I was immediately told in a loud voice to “Just Do it.” So as a subordinate, I proceeded to thrust heavy air ground equipment through the air frame of the C-5. Humorously wondering to myself the whole time on how the simulated plane would ever be able to get off the ground on take off with no metal siding.

After the training, I was openly chewed up and spit out. In addition, as a price for my questioning and assumed insubordination, I spent hours marching up and down the beautiful green airfield. However, in my opinion it was all worth it. Challenging the status quo is the only way to go. I had voiced my disagreement and then committed to the task (directed, or not) by loading a C-5 through the aircraft’s air frame.

In recognition of this event, I documented a humorous corporate narrative called “Eye’s Left.” Military formations use “Eye’s Right” to align the troops. I used “Eye’s Left” to call out the humor in the simulated training, the lack of openness to ideas, and challenge of the status quo. Everyone I worked with on this simulation still remembers the day we call “Eyes Left.”

Hind sight is 20/20 and it teaches us good lessons. Be open to appropriate use of disagreement, be open to change, be able to commit to the task even if you are not listened too. As I worked my way through the ranks my nickname went from Little General to General Nuisance. I am proud to be able to contribute, even if it is a nuisance.